


banana split

by shslry



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, M/M, Snakes, lola is gerard's pet snake idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 01:59:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4545861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shslry/pseuds/shslry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The door opens wider, and he sees it—</p><p>Sitting, wrapped around Gerard’s neck, is a monster.</p><p>//</p><p>aka gerard and frank are dating but frank doesn't know about gerard's pet snake lola</p>
            </blockquote>





	banana split

**Author's Note:**

> i found a [beautiful banana ball python](http://applepythons.tumblr.com/tagged/braithe) on tumblr and my first thought was that it reminded me of lola and then i HAD to write this
> 
> the ending feels a little rushed i think, which is because i WAS rushing it b/c i just really wanted to get this done, but w/e. its called banana split b/c duh, banana ball python

The thing is, Gerard is kind of perfect. He’s funny, and gorgeous, and brilliant, and Frank is fucking smitten, okay? Fucking smitten.

Gerard’s just this really great guy, and he likes _Frank_ , like, what the fuck, how the fuck did Frank get so lucky that this really amazing, cool guy even gives him the time of day? Frank’s been thankful every day since he first sat himself down at Gerard’s table during lunch. Gerard’s _perfect_. This is just an established fact.

So here Frank is, right? Here he is, standing in front of Gerard’s door, the door to Gerard’s _house_ , where Gerard and his _parents_ live, and Frank is fucking nervous. The Official reason for Frank’s visit is their science project, but Frank’s pretty sure Gerard intends to turn it into a meet the parents sort of deal, and Frank’s not gonna lie, he’s kind of hoping he can get some making out on Gerard’s bed out of it.

He rings the doorbell, and doesn’t have to wait very long at all for the door to begin to open. Frank has a moment to consider the possibility that Gerard was _waiting at the door for him_ , when it opens wider, and he sees it—

Sitting, wrapped around Gerard’s neck, is a monster.

“What the _fuck_ ,” Frank yelps, and jumps back, eyes wide. Gerard just smiles kind of confusedly.

“What?” he asks, as if he’s unaware that there is a _monster_ hanging off of him.

“That—that thing!” Frank whispers in a horrified voice. “Gerard, there is a _snake_ around your neck, what the _fuck_.” Frank wonders if it’s too late to run home. He should have known the perfection could never last.

“Oh, this old thing?” Gerard asks, grinning now. “It’s just Lola. I told you about them, remember?” And, okay, Frank vaguely remembers Gerard mentioning a Lola, but he’d just assumed that it was Gerard’s dog or something. Not a fucking _snake_. Gerard strokes a finger down the length of the creature’s body. Frank shivers in absolute terror.

“Gerard,” Frank says, and widens his eyes even more. “Gerard, that is a _snake_.” It flicks its tongue out and Frank visibly shivers.

“Oh, Frankie.” Gerard is definitely laughing at Frank. Fucking rude, Frank thinks, and then goes back to being horrified. “They’re not gonna hurt you. They’re really the sweetest little thing in the world,” Gerard says, and then proceeds to _baby talk_ the _snake_. “Who’s my good snake? That’s right, baby. It’s you!” Frank is bewildered.

“Gerard,” Frank says, voice quietly horrified. “Gerard, we may have to break up.” Gerard just rolls his eyes.

“Frank, you’re being ridiculous. Come inside and help me with this science project.” Gerard makes like he’s going to grab Frank’s arm, but Frank pulls away quickly, motioning for Gerard to go inside and then following him.

Gerard’s back is to Frank the whole way to his room, but Lola has maneuvered their body so that their neck is twisted and they’re looking at Frank. When they reach Gerard’s room, he goes to open the door, and it jostles the snake a little, but their head remains turned towards Frank. Frank thinks they might be plotting to kill him. When they enter, Frank sees that Gerard has all of the books and resources they agreed they would need sprawled out on the floor.

They sit down across from each other and when Gerard sets Lola in his lap, Frank finally gets a good look at them. They’re pinkish in color, with orange and yellow spots covering them, and black dots littered across their body. They’re actually pretty cool looking, for a snake.

Gerard is talking, but Frank’s not sure what he’s saying, too busy looking suspiciously at the snake. “Are you even listening?” Gerard asks.

“No,” Frank says.

“Too interested in Lola?” Gerard asks, smiling.

“I am not _interested_ in that thing, I’m just keeping my eyes on it so that it can’t attack me by surprise.” Frank’s not looking, so he can’t be sure, but he thinks Gerard rolls his eyes.

“They’re not gonna _attack_ you, Frank. They’re really the sweetest snake ever, I swear. Here! Pet them!” Gerard says, and then picks Lola up and holds them _right in front of Frank’s face_.

Frank is terrified, okay? Of course he is, it’s a fucking _snake_. But Gerard is _right there_ , watching Frank, _judging_ him, and Frank can’t exactly run screaming without Gerard thinking he’s a total pansy, so Frank does it.

He reaches up and touches the snake, gently and slowly like he’s worried that the moment they feel his hand they’ll reach around and bite him. When he makes contact with them, their skin is cool and smooth and feels almost wet, and they don’t even look at him.

He touches them again, then, a little longer this time, and then strokes his finger down the length of their body. It feels weird, but not in a bad way.

“Hold your arms out, Frankie,” Gerard says.

“No.” Frank totally knows where Gerard’s going with this, and he refuses.

“Come on, Frankie, just hold them out!”

“Gerard, _no_ ,” Frank says, but after a moment of hesitation, he does it anyway. Gerard just plops Lola down into Frank’s arms like it’s nothing.

They’re not as heavy as Frank had expected them to be, probably about five pounds at the most. They’re about four feet long and, at their widest, about three inches thick. There’s a moment where Frank thinks he’s fine, he can totally hold a snake, he’s got this, but then Lola starts _moving up his arm_.

“Gerard?” Frank totally isn’t panicking, except for how he kind of is. “Gerard? Gerard they’re climbing me! Oh my God.” Gerard is totally laughing at him.

When Lola reaches his face, Frank clenches his eyes shut, so he doesn’t see it when she flicks her tongue out, just feels it tickle his cheek. “What?” Frank asks, and opens his eyes.

“She’s just smelling you!” Gerard says, grinning. “You were totally expecting her to bite you, weren’t you.”

“No!” He totally was.

Lola keeps flicking their tongue out, smelling Frank’s face and ear and neck, before they decide they’re done with that part of him and wind their way around his neck. They go far enough that their head is resting on his chest before stopping. “Gerard?” Frank asks.

“Yes?” Gerard is smiling.

“Why’d they stop?”

“They’re comfy!” Gerard says, and grins harder. Frank’s silent for a moment, and then he slowly relaxes, petting them again.

Gerard is staring at Frank with eager, slightly concerned eyes, and when Frank breathes for a moment before saying, “So are we gonna get started on this project or what?” his smile is so big and beautiful that Frank struggles to catch his breath.

They get a game plan figured out and then work in silence for a bit before Lola starts moving again. Frank freezes up for a moment when he feels their body moving, the back end gripping his neck for support as they slide down his torso. They end up in his lap, on top of his crossed legs, before they stop again, flicking their tongue and looking around. 

Frank slowly relaxes again, and he goes back to working, and time passes quickly after that. Eventually he hears Gerard sigh and say, “Jesus, I need a break. You having fun over there with that _monster_ , Frank?” Frank looks up, confused for a moment, before looking back down at Lola and thinking, oh yeah, there’s a _snake_ in his lap. He cringes at the wording, searching Gerard’s face for any sign of offence at the fact that Frank called his snake a monster, but all he finds is amusement.

“Yeah, uh, I guess,” Frank says, and looks back down at Lola before biting his lip. “Maybe not all snakes are monsters,” he admits, and Gerard laughs.

“Right? I told you, Lola’s just a big baby. They did bite me once, though.” At this very moment, Lola rests their head on Frank’s leg, and he feels himself freeze up again.

“What the fuck? Why would you _tell_ me that, oh my _god_ ,” Frank says, glaring at Gerard. Gerard just laughs again.

“It was my fault anyway, I stuck my hand in their hide without washing it first and they were just a baby so they were scared, they were just defending themself.” Frank just shakes his head in disbelief and glances down at Lola suspiciously again. “Now!” Gerard says loudly, and claps his hands. “Want me to put them up so we can take a break and make out on my bed?” Frank nods, trying not to show his relief.

Gerard grins as he scoops Lola up in his arms and takes them over to their tank, setting them down gently before closing and locking the lid, and when Frank reaches over and yanks him by his shirt over to the bed, toppling them over before leaning in for a kiss, he’s still grinning.

**Author's Note:**

> snakes, just like any other animal with a mouth, bite sometimes, usually because they're scared. there's this huge stigma around snakes and snake bites, but it's no different than any other pet getting scared or hurt and biting as a defense mechanism. i will say that i've been bitten by a ball python and a cat before and they cat bite hurt 10x worse than the snake bite. anyway idk why i'm telling you this, i hope you enjoyed the fic


End file.
